![]() |  | | Balanced Lifestyles |
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I wanted to write this feedback to encourage anyone who is having doubts about making the first contact with Thom to take that first initial step.....I know I read the feedback page in great length before contacting him as I was not really sure ‘what went on’ in therapy...
I never thought I “qualified” for therapy as I would not say I had one big issue, just lots of small things & events such as relationship breakdowns & childhood issues that had mounted up over the years into what I can only describe as an impossible knotted almost football sized lump inside me that I was incapable of breaking down. I just had to carry it around and this imaginary growth was getting bigger and bigger and weighing me down. It stopped my mind from thinking in a rational manner and everyday life was just becoming more and more difficult. I was worried my composure mask was going to slip at work or in my social circle and that everyone would then know I had mental health issues and I would be labelled as the ‘unstable one’ (that’s how I felt inside).
21 months ago I knocked on Thom’s door after the suicide of a friend which was for me the final straw that led me to seek professional help – for years I had battled on and off with a rollercoaster like depression - some ups, but more downs, trying to hide and control it with medication and self help books but this was the tipping point for me. Something that I felt was about to tip me over the edge and that I could not deal with alone and by myself.
I always thought therapy was for people with ‘real’ deep rooted issues such as abuse and I almost felt I should not be ‘wasting’ Thom’s time with what I thought must appear as trivial issues to a trained professional. How wrong I was! Although I felt very vulnerable and exposed to begin with I felt at instant ease with Thom. He has a very natural way about him and for me the most important factor was that he does not have a white coat persona, he is just himself.
A very down to earth, gentle, kind and deeply caring individual who has an immense passion about his job combined with being the ultimate professional.
He was to begin with a total stranger who I had to learn to trust before I began to pour my heart and soul out to. Some of the stuff that came from inside me surprised me to the core, I had no idea that I had so much stored up inside me and Thom helped me to keep on challenging myself in my own time and at my own speed to keep pouring out all that I had felt was trapped deep inside.
Some weeks we would have a very intense and emotional session and I would leave with tear stained eyes feeling emotionally and mentally drained. Other weeks he would just know that I was fragile and not in the right state of mind to look any deeper and just deal with what was on the surface.
Not all the sessions are deep and dark, many weeks we would share a good giggle and he does have a wicked sense of humour!
He never made judgement, he just listened supported and encouraged me. Those first few months were hard, but something deep within motivated me to return, week after week. I wanted to find out about myself, what had made me as I was, and to look at where I might be going wrong and how I could make things better.
We talked about every aspect of my life and he listened carefully, asking pertinent questions that usually gave me the answers I needed in my own replies.
He has helped me to rationalise thought processes, to step outside of the thinking box and he has introduced me to boundaries, which I have been able to understand and implement in my life and this has made profound changes.
Almost 2 years on I am a much more confident and self assured person who has regained my sparkle and lust for life. Many friends have commented on the amazing change.
Thom...my heartfelt thanks for everything you have helped me achieve, your belief in me, your encouragement and your dedication to help me succeed. This week we have started to talk about endings. In one way it is going to feel a great loss of a strong built bond but on the flip side it makes me feel proud that I am now armed with the knowledge to be able to cope with life’s up’s and down’s on my own.
We have use many analogies in our sessions and all I can say is l have felt like a butterfly with a badly broken wing after trying to force myself back into my cocoon. You have helped me out of this deep dark space, to mend my wing and take flight again! Soaring higher than ever before!
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I travelled a long way to see you for our sessions and I don't regret one mile of it. You 'got me' from day one and even when you didn't, you told me and didn't just nod your head like so many people do.
I've gone from strength to strength as a result of my therapy and I can not find words adequate enough to thank you.
I was so sad to say goodbye! |
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I didn't imagine that within such a short space of time as 6 weeks that I would feel so much better. I feel as though I've opened a door and although my therapy has ended for now I like to think that I will return sometime next year to tackle some more demons. For now I can function 'normally' again.
Thank you |
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I was at an all time low when I came to see you last year struggling with depression and anxiety and on anti-depressants. I had no self confidence, cried all the time and thought sooner or later those around me would abandon me because I was such a "burden". I actually thought I was losing my marbles. With your help and only a small number of sessions you opened my eyes to things in the past which were affecting my present. You made me realise Thom that my perception of myself was completely different than how others saw me and you gave me the strength to face some demons. Sometimes just saying things out loud to someone who is neither a friend or family member is all that is needed. I can't thank you enough and thank my lucky stars I had the sense to seek help when I needed it and also count my blessings that the person who I happened to come and see was you. You really have changed my life, I am no longer on anti-depressants and am now very happily married to the love of my life. I can never thank you enough Thom, if it wasn't for you I wouldn't be the person I am today. Sincerely, heartfelt thanks. |
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I've had 10 sessions of CBT for panic attacks and anxiety. I have gained so much from our sessions and I have learned new skills that will help me in the future also.
Throughout you have been supportive, caring and understanding Thom. Thank you very much. |
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Thank you for your help and support through a very difficult time. I don't think I would have been able to get through this as well without it. |
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I came to you with anxiety and depression. I had suffered with this for years and only ever really depended on medication which gave me limited help. You helped me through this maze and no it hasn't been easy but I am realising for the first time probably just who I am and that I am ok after all.
Many thanks. |
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You made me feel welcome right from the start. Your office is warm and welcoming and you helped me feel relaxed straight away. Thank you for this as I may never have come back otherwise.
I have a new lease of life. Too much to put into something like this, but I will never forget how much you have helped me.
Thank you Tom |
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Thank you so much. Sometimes in life, we lose the ability to be able to see what's right before our eyes. You helped me see things clearer and this has affected so many parts of my life. I hear your voice in my head (not literally of course!) sometimes when I feel that I need support. My life is so different and my family and friends have noticed a difference too.
No words really other than thank you.
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I was fairly desperate when I first came to see you. Unfortunately I was unable to make any sense of my thoughts or actions. Having considered our meetings, I don't think I could have chosen anybody better in my circumstances. You were professional at all times yet still remained friendly and likeable throughout, not something which many people would find easy in your position. You didn't judge me either.
In short, I just wanted to say thanks. I don't want to be so dramatic as to say you saved my life, but you have certainly had a profound effect on me and for that I will always be grateful.
I hope our paths cross again in the future! |
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Thom, thanks so much for lending a listening ear, offering advice, showing your kindness and giving re-assurance that when life gets tough, as often it does, there are ways to cope and get through it and that your door will always be open in the future should I ever need your help again. You made it feel ok in some way to show my feelings, to laugh and to cry. Your words of me needing to be kinder to myself will stay with me forever. |
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Sex is a tricky subject at the best of times and I was so nervous that I nearly bottled out. I'm glad I didn't.
Thank you for being so easy to talk to and for not judging me. |
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I can’t say I have found the experience enjoyable as I find it very difficult to talk about myself and open up. However, I feel the sessions have been very productive and helpful to me. I now have a better understanding of myself and can work on the aspects of my personality I would like to change. |
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Want to thank you so much Thom for your help, I feel I am actually me again, will always be grateful to you. It was like talking to a old friend. Would recommend Thom 110% |
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I thought you would have a trick or something that would improve my life. It wasn't at all like I expected but then again, I got so much more from it than I ever could have imagined. It took me a while to 'get it' but when I did I learned so much about myself.
Thank you for illuminating my life. |
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THOM HELPED ME SO SO MUCH ... FIRSTLY I CAME 2 HIM ON THE BREAK DOWN OF MY MARRAGE WHICH HAS BIN ON AND OFF 4 3 YEARS , BUT AS THE WEEKS PROGRESSED WE TOUCHED ON OTHER SUBJECTS .. CANT THANK HIM ENOUGH .. HIGHLY HIGHLY RECOMMENDED
MANY THANKS
THOM
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I came to you for anger management issues and never realised that anger was healthy if I expressed it in a healthy way. Thank you for helping me with this. My life and my relationships are much improved because of it.
Take care! |
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I just thought I would give you some feedback on your new office. I was worried when you told me you were changing premises but your new office is just as warm and welcoming as your office from home and not at all 'formal'. And of course you're still the same warm, supportive, knowledgeable and professional person. |
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Yo Thom, you should know who this is ;) After mentioning you had a website before, I decided to google you - It worked!
Thanks for everything you're an absolute star, couldn't have done it without you, not a chance in hell!! I'll never forget your help!! CHEERS SPUD!!! :) x |
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Apart from your qualifications and your obvious knowledge of your profession, you have some very, very special skills that you put to good use in your role as a therapist and as a person. There are no pretences about you and you are very human. By being just who you are, you enabled me to be just who I am. Something I had never really done much of and something that I now hold very dear.
Thank you, |
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I came to see you with anxiety but after talking to you, you helped me recognise I had guilt and also"people pleased" which was enough to give anyone anxiety. When we finished our sessions I felt confident and my self esteem had improved. I learn't that my past was where the problems began but that's all behind me and as they say I am moving on. I am calm, relaxed and I like myself alot more. Thank you Thom I feel without you I wouldn't be as happy as I am now. |
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I came to you with a range of issues related to childhood and also my adult relationships. You were professional and knowledgeable, giving me a good idea of the different types of therapy available to me and we adapted my therapy as and when I needed it.
Thank you for your skills and expertise but most of all thank you for your warm and genuine approach.
Rarely do you find someone who enjoys their work so much and it shows in your approach and knowledge.
Thank you. |
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I came to you regarding me and my partner's relationship problems. You recommended another therapist for my partner and you and I have worked together for the last 3 months.
I thought we had come to the end of our relationship but we have managed to work through our issues and I want to thank you for that.
I can recommend you to anyone if they have the commitment to want to change something about themselves or want to work on an aspect of their lives.
Have a lovely Christmas Thom! |
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Thank you for your understanding, empathy and help. I'm not sure where I would be now without it.
Me |
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I initially resented having to pay someone to listen and understand me, let alone 'help' me. We worked through my resentment which can't have been easy, so thank you for sticking with me. Then we got the real work done and I allowed someone 'in' for the first time in many, many years.
My relationships have improved not only with others but also with myself.
I can't thank you enough. |
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Thom creates a comfortable, welcoming, safe and trusting environment. His qualities of listening and perception allowed me to feel a true sense of empathy from another. Sometimes I found it very difficult to articulate my feelings; Thom would not put 'words into my mouth' nor offer solutions or answers - this is something that you work out for yourself. Thom provided the platform to enable this to happen and helped me to gain a deeper insight into why I feel the way I feel. Grateful thanks. |
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It's hard to narrow down a lifetime's relationship problems into one 'issue'. I found through counselling that I can move beyond this and find a better way of being in the world. I have you to thank for this although I can't find any fancy words other than simply Thank You.
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I came for an Initial Consultation and I just want to thank you for your honest and frank opinion. You didn't try and 'sell' yourself to me and what you advised was sensible and professional.
Thank you Thom. |
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Thom helped me through the worst time of my life he taught me how to find myself and to deal with life and to find my own boundaries in a very comfortable and relaxed atmosphere, I would recommend Thom to everyone.
Thank you so much Thom
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My partner noticed changes in me first, then my friends then surprisingly me last. You noticed things about the way that I feel, think and behave that I had no idea about. It took me a while to engage with the process but you stuck with me when you didn't need to.
Thank you Thom |
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